Lies. Pardonable lies. What type of lies fall under this category.  I assume little white lies fall under them. Like when we did not tell my 90-year grandpa who had just lost the love of his life that his friend had also just passed. Things like that assume. 

There were parts of this book that resonated. One of course being that it is set post WW1 on the brink of WW2. The plot is so clever. Just brilliant. It could be my bias for female writers but this one was clever, clear, and unpredictable. Adjectives that don’t necessarily go in the same sentence. 

We’re currently living exactly like the climate described throughout the book. People who’ve survived the war but lost their loved ones, finances, security, and sense of safety.  And then when some normalcy arrives, the second wave hits. In the book though WW2 is approaching. 

We’re in the midst of a war and it’s better to acknowledge all the signs than live in blissful ignorance. 

I know I’ve alluded to personal details about my life and never really shared the whole story but I didn’t want the website to become a virtual dear diary. That being said, the book was my solace for two weeks. Losing my grandpa 4 months after losing my grandma and then walking away from someone I thought was a long-lasting something two days after the funeral was a hard hit. 

So Pardonable Lies is where I escaped. That and stretching. I’m aiming to get my splits at least this year!

I’m particular and anxious about sharing my life with people so putting up details on the internet makes me a tad bit uncomfortable. If you’re asking, then Bianca why do it, sometimes sharing helps someone who is reading. They realize they aren’t alone in case they are going through something similar. 

In this book, psychologist and detective Masie Dobbs not only has to go looking to prove the death of Sir Cecil Lawton’s son but must also face her big demons too. I wanna say a quick little thing about battling demons. 

An aunt I love once told me, ‘If I listened to the demon in my head, Id never get out of bed’ 

Waking up, brushing teeth, looking in the mirror wondering what the day will be like, busy or not, any fires to put out or mistakes to be made, will I exercise after work? Should I eat breakfast or skip lunch? 

All the same questions, pushing the demons that came to haunt in the quiet time of last night, back into the corner of the brain. 

My demons are so peculiar sometimes. Guilt. It’s my demon. It’s a pretty big useless demon to have. Nothing of value ever comes out of it. Loneliness is a slightly bigger demon for me. 

Social media is a love-hate place for me. Sometimes serves as a reminder I wish to forget.  Moments where I allowed someone to make me feel small, or unworthy, or embarrassed. Shame is also my demon mixed with the past. 

 Can a what-if’s count as a demon? Or is the fear of showing your authentic self a demon? 

Where do we escape from these demons? In our days I assume. In our laptops and daily routines. 

Sometimes at night or in my morning meditation, I sit with them. Try to understand them.  Do as Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield say, hold them with compassion. I do feel better sometimes. Sometimes I don’t. But I know this, ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear.

They will come back to haunt. 

Masie Dobbs faces hers. While solving mysterious war disappearances, she faces her own demons she’s buried deep. And no, there’s no big triumphant victory bell when she does. Because sometimes there isn’t. We don’t live in blockbuster movies. You have to keep facing them until they get smaller and smaller and less threatening. So she starts right at the origination of some of her big demons.  That’s effing brave. 

I know you’re picking up on how this review is not structured and more Bianca and less Book, but this book was a pretty sweet escape. So if you’re currently feeling a little worse for wear, Pardonable Lies can be your temporary escape.